Hello Loyal Supporters!!
Last Friday's sentinel lymph node biopsy went well despite the HOURS of idle time at the hospital and my lack of food consuming. I was instructed to stop eating by midnight, but I actually stopped eating by 10:15pm. My congee dinner was around 7pm and I ate a cookie at 10:15pm. The next morning when I woke up, I instantly regretted the late night cookie. In that moment, I remembered why I don't eat late at night. It results in me waking up starving. For those of you interested, here's a quick rundown of how last Friday went.
Pictured above are a spaceship warming blanket that was too hot for me and me wearing my medical grade thigh highs aka compression stockings to help prevent blood clots during surgery.
-7:30am Hospital Check In
-7:30am-8:55am Watched Golden Girls Reruns and Nurse came in to put in the IV and wipe my right arm area with some disinfecting wipes
-8:55am-9:30am Wheeled down to Nuclear Medicine for that injection
-9:30am-2:00pm Wheeled back upstairs and continued to wait
-2:00pm-3:00pm Brought to the surgical holding area to watch Friends
-3:10pm-4:30pm Wheeled to surgery and procedure performed
-4:30pm-6:00pm My parents waited for me to wake up from anesthesia
-6:00pm-7:00pm Prepped me for discharge
-7:15pm Wheeled me downstairs to the car
I don't believe these idle periods are normal. My two theories are that either my surgeon's two other procedures before me resulted in slight complications or that other surgeries occurring in my assigned operating room ran behind. Anyways, enough with the boring details. Let's get to the nitty gritty of this recovery.
After arriving at home that evening, I was noticeably groggy for the remainder of the night. I ate some homemade pho ga, took a Tylenol 3, and off to bed I went. Before making it to bed, I had to pit stop at the restroom for a number 1. To my surprise, I peed out smurf blue! I remember that they had to inject me with blue dye for better visibility, but forgot that eventually that dye would need to leave my body. Of course, I couldn't tell you this detail without a photo.
What a great coincidence the beginning of chemotherapy resulted in Rose colored urine and the end of treatment resulted in blue jello urine. Thank you all for putting up with my oversharing of bodily fluids. On a side note, notice the beautiful tile work that the husband did. It was inspired by our trip to Italy last year. I had to have some white carrara marble tile somewhere in my home and my powder room was the lucky (most affordable) space.
Let's get back to the recovery period. Originally, I anticipated being able to recover just over the weekend and return to my regular routine. I was sadly mistaken. Going from my bedroom to my kitchen required the support of a pillow in between my arm and body for comfort. A pillow has been my best friend over the last week. Unfortunately, Tylenol 3 did not give me any relief. I even tried taking double the recommended dose to see if it would help. No luck! So I relied on my trusty pillow to reduce and surprisingly almost eliminate the pain. It took me a while to figure out what position worked best for relief, but once I got that down we were golden. I slept pretty comfortably every night with the exception of my restroom breaks. Getting up from the bed without pain is tricky. I basically needed to roll to my side, push myself up slowly, and then get out of bed. Wiping has been tricky since the incision is on my dominant side. Needless to say, I have needed to wash my hands more thoroughly after potty breaks. Lol. My family has not let me operate a vehicle this week. Luckily, my family and husband have been awesome at driving me around to take care of work and errands. They are concerned that if I needed to use both hands to avoid an accident, I wouldn't safely be able to. I get it but I feel like I'm losing my freedom prematurely. We already know that Monday's surgery is going to keep me on house arrest for quite some time.
I've decided that I want to share with you all some of the uncensored photos throughout the surgical aspect of this journey. I have found comfort in seeing actual photos of patients and their incisions because it helps me mentally prepare for what my body will likely look like.
The first few days my arm was stuck in an awkward sling position or just slightly away from my body. The skin from my arm would stick to the side of my body and make the area even more uncomfortable. I would describe my pain level on day 1-3 a solid 4/10 pain scale. Who knew taking lymph nodes out would hurt like that. Just for reference, I consider labor contractions at 7cm to be about a 6. It's now day 9 post lymph node procedure and I'm moving around more normally and do not require the pillow until I'm laying or sitting down for long periods of time. I do still find relief in holding my arm as if I'm wearing an invisible sling. It gives me a head start in case I want do the robot dance. The incision area feels itchy sometimes as does a lot of my back. I'm not sure if those are related, but I'm itchy and have to use my children to scratch my back due to my limited arm mobility.
Some challenges the household faced this week included the "plague" making it's way through 75% of the family. Jimmy was already sick with flu like symptoms leading up to last weeks procedure. The day after I came home, both Jimmy and Addison had contracted a stomach bug somehow. Those of you with kids know how contagious stomach bugs are. Now I'm recovering and on high alert for potentially being this stomach bugs next victim. I practice good hand washing and also sanitize the restroom after each use. So far I've been in the clear. Ailee catches a fever Sunday night and now both kids are out of school for the first two days of the week. This means I can't recover in peace with only adult company. Dah well, that is how the cookie crumbles. How can you know the these faces?!?
To make matters worse, my mother contracts the stomach bug on Tuesday. She's been living with me since my procedure to help with the kiddos and to be there for. I'm so thankful to have my mom live so close. I honestly don't think I could do this without her. However, these angelic qualities did not save her from the stomach bug. I send her home to isolation for 2 nights. Thankfully, she's doing okay now, but Friday night Ailee catches another high fever and has been fevering on and off for 3 days now. On top of that, Jimmy is beginning to exhibit signs of illness again with chills and cold sweats. Are we going to get a break soon? I am dodging everything that I can to prevent possible complications in surgery or in my recovery. I can't imagine having a cold and coughing after being cut open in my abdominal area.
my lymph nodes were NEGATIVE for mirco cancerous cells
Attention! Attention!! The pathology results are in. I received word from my breast surgeon Thursday that my lymph nodes were NEGATIVE for mirco cancerous cells. We have the GREEN LIGHT to move forward with my original surgical plan of a double mastectomy with immediate DIEP flap reconstruction. NO RADIATION!!! Hooray!!! However, getting ready for the surgery has been challenging, but nothing compared to learning how to accept what your body will look like after this is over. My breast surgeon said that my mastectomy incisions will be vertical cuts from the center of nipple down my breast and the plastic surgeon cuts out pieces of my abdomen which leaves an incision from hip to hip. WTF, I'm going to have a smiley face looking at me in the mirror every day. *Forehead slap* I also am not quite sure how the DIEP flap is going to be attached to my breast area. So those stitches may affect my previously stated smiley face. Do you have the visual yet?
Exhibit A -----> = - )
The equal sign are the vertical incisions on my boobs. The dash is my belly button and the closed parenthesis is my stomach incision.
Moving on, I am trying to piece together how I feel emotionally. I am sad that I will lose all feeling of my breasts. Not only does that affect sexy time, but it also makes me physically feel like I'm losing a part of me. My faux breasts will be there but it will feel foreign because there are no nerve connections to make it be a part of me. These are definitely the sucky down sides to the procedure I have chosen, but I have to remind myself that this procedure eliminates my need for mammograms/MRIs every six months. I will not have to go in and constantly think about cancer possibly coming back in my breasts. Cancer can still travel to other parts of my body, but I have removed the possibility of having to deal with cancer in my breasts. Another perk about tomorrow's surgery is having my port-a-cath taken out. I can go to the chiropractor and get my neck adjusted again! I have been ultra paranoid about potentially dislodging the catheter that's connected into the large vein in my neck. I have also can sit comfortably as a passenger in a car once I heal completely. The seat belt currently presses up against my port and makes it feel awkward. It's ironic that when I finally don't even notice my port, it's time to take it out. I remember in the beginning it was SO UNCOMFORTABLE and here we are, near the finish line.
here we are, near the finish line
Despite the trauma my body will endure tomorrow, I am thankful to have the opportunity to beat cancer, to survive this horrible disease, and to help other in the process. I am here and able to tell my story to you all and with the power of the internet, we can continue to share my story with future patients or just people need some positive vibes in their lives. I'm signing off tonight with some nerves about tomorrow, but optimistic that it is the procedure that helps to close out my cancer chapter. I hope that after tomorrow and the subsequent out patient surgeries, that I never have to write about another cancer. I will just continue to update you all about what life is AFTER cancer. Thank you all for your continued support. All your prayers have been heard and have helped in my healing.
P.S. I GOT THE CANCER EQUIVALENT OF A PUSH GIFT FROM JIMMY!!! Those of you that know me personally, know how long I've been talking about these beautiful wheels. <3 Love you, husband!
