Good evening, Virtual World!
I'm writing to you from the ER. You may be wondering why I'm here. Well let's start with what has happened since my big surgery exactly one week ago.
After 10 dreaded hours under general anesthesia, I woke up in my ICU room. The ICU room was necessary just to monitor me and my newly reconnected blood vessels very closely. They came in maybe once every hour to listen to the blood flow in those vessels. I remember being extremely drowsy and disinterested in eating anything. I just wanted to sleep. I was hooked up to the works. I had my IV fluids, Foley, blood pressure cuff, and leg compression devices connected. In and out of sleep, the one thing I remember is being HOT and there was nothing that helped the cause. I could feel my body sticking to my bedding and I couldn't move to do anything about it. My pain was moderate and I was too disoriented to understand what exactly was hurting. I just knew it hurt. The nurse administered morphine twice during that night. The first one I have no recollection of, but the second one I felt move throughout my whole body. I went completely numb in a matter of seconds. I now understand why morphine is used in war.
The next day I was moved to the regular recovery floor to the "HTOWN" room number 713. I actually smiled as I approached my new room. Traveling from ICU to another building to the 7th floor was a breeze. The problem occurred while I was being transferred from my ICU bed to my new bed. I was being moved by 3 women and by way of a piece of fabric to slide me over. Well let's say that all three women were not in sync. My body felt contorted during the process and tears poured out of my eyes. Those of you that know me, know that I don't often cry and I have a relatively high pain tolerance. I was so confused by what was occurring. I tried to console myself once I was placed in my new bed, but I didn't feel any empathy from the staff during my breakdown. I think the lack of empathy made it more difficult to calm myself down.
Fast forward a couple of hours, it was time for me to get up and try to take my first steps after the operation. If you calculate the total time I've been laying down, it started at 6am Monday and we were now at 10:30am Tuesday. 28.5 hours laying down and under anesthesia. I was nervous to get up and move but I knew this is what the doctor had ordered. I successfully got up from the bed and made it about 4 steps before experiencing the early signs of a fainting spell. My ears began to ring and then my body began to get warm all over. Without hesitation, I asked to be seated again because I knew for sure if I continued it would result in me falling to the ground. My dad spent the next 20 minutes fanning me to cool me down. I'm happy to report that the next 2 walks were successful and made me feel much better. It helped to get the blood flowing. All down time while awake was spent in a recliner per doctors orders as it helps reduce the risk of pneumonia.
I found myself feeling helpless...
The on going issues throughout my hospital stay and at home currently is my inability to care for myself. I found myself feeling helpless as the surgery restricts me quite a bit. I am unable to put weight on my arms and my abdomen. What does this mean? It means I'm basically like a double amputee as far as my upper body is concerned. I cannot push or pull myself up to get off of a bed/chair. I cannot extend my arms above my shoulders nor move them away from my body. That means NO chicken dance or macarena for me!! 🚫🐥💃 😭 Without being able to use my core to get up, I require someone to support my back and another person to rotate my legs simultaneously to put me in and out of bed. While I'm in a bed or a chair, I have to be moved to the edge in order for my feet to be planted flat on the ground. From that position, I am able to use my legs to lift myself up and walk. Every time I get up to walk, I gain a little bit more speed. My hunchback and super slow movements remind me of the old childhood story "The Tortoise and the Hare" and what I envision a geriatric sprint to look like. My dad even said, "I thought I would be walking like that first, but it looks like you beat me to it." I'm thankful that my family can still use humor despite the circumstances.
Let's move onto the super fun restroom fiasco! Initially, I thought Jimmy or my mother would need to wipe my front and back. Talk about taking our relationship to the next level. Hahaha. Lucky for me, I practiced the wiping action at the hospital and figured out how to wipe within my limited range of motion even for a number 2!! My level of excitement at this point is through the roof because I honestly did not want my family wiping my ass at the young age of 34. If you ever have to endure a similar situation, I would recommend flushable wipes. Not only will it help the clean up post poop, but it will help you stay fresh when bathing isn't an option. The restriction is no bathing 36 hours after surgery. I stayed 3 nights in hospital and felt pretty gross most of the time. Hospital pillows and beds are made of non-breathable materials which made me clammy most of my stay. I received a warm wipes wipe down with a gown change that made me feel slightly better. I think I was more excited about the happy color of hospital gown.
Once home, my sister and mom made an attempt to give me the regular shower I had been yearning for my whole hospital stay. My aunt had an extra shower chair for me to borrow and Jimmy installed a Water Pik shower head with the removable shower head for easier showering. However, this first attempt to shower did not go well and should have been planned better. While sitting in the shower chair, I thought it was a good idea to empty out my drains. I figured since we needed to record the output of each, we should probably label each drain. My sister went outside to find a Sharpie while I sat in the chair with an unsupported back. This was the beginning of a very stressful event for my family. While seated in the shower chair, I felt the beginning stages of fainting again. By the time my sister got back and we labeled the drains, it was no longer safe for me to get out of the chair. My body was sweaty and my ears were ringing. My mother ran to get me water and my sister attempted to fan me. Eventually the symptoms subsided enough for me to be moved to my bed to cool off and lay down with the ceiling fan on full blast. After about 15 minutes, I returned to a stable state. Moral of the story is, complete all your tasks before you sit in the shower so that you spend the least amount of time in the small space.
Fast forward to what happened today. After my usual afternoon nap, I woke up with difficulty breathing. The best way to describe the feeling is having an x-ray vest laying on your chest. A weight was pushing down on my chest making me short of breathe. At first, I thought it was the position I was laying in while napping. After sitting completely upright in different chairs over the next few hours, the shortness of breathe did not improve. We immediately contacted my plastic surgeon and he instructed us to rule out a blood clot which meant going to the ER. Fantastic!!! It's like my favorite place of all time. NOT!!! I checked in online for a 7:30pm time slot and arrived at the hospital shortly after that time. Check in was a breeze and the rest of the night was just going through the painful emergency room process. First was triage, then a chest xray, blood work, and the CT. Seems simple enough, except all of that took 5.5 hours to complete.
The phlebotomist that started my IV and drew my blood did a TERRIBLE job. She was training so I didn't expect much, but by the end there was a small puddle of blood on the floor and my sleep shirt. She also positioned it in the crack of my elbow which did not allow me to bend my arm without a good amount of discomfort. I have to take a moment to say how disgusting ERs are. I actually wore a mask while there because I was genuinely scared of the unknown infections that were present. Asian tourist mode was activated. 😷 There were also a couple of pukers in pain as well. One guy was in a wheel chair in a lot of pain and he puked up the color of a cooked banana leaf. The other guy puked up an orange color and threw his bag in the regular trash can. WHO DOES THAT?!? Needless to say, I left the areas that each of these men were in while they were waiting. I had to separate myself in a different room because puking totally grosses me out. The results of the scans were finally in, and there were no blood clots or irregularities in my EKG. The ER doctor reported there was a little fluid in my lungs, but not anything that is uncommon with the surgeries I had endured. This was great news and we could finally go home to sleep in our own bed even though it would only be for a few hours. We arrived at home by 1:30am and showered the dirty ER off of our bodies.
TIPS FOR FUTURE PATIENTS
-Have a chair with some back support to put in the shower-This will help keep you safe in case you have an episode like mine.
-Have a pocket of some sort to hold your drains during your shower-This helps to keep the drains out of the way during your shower. Search "Yesito Mastectomy drainage pouch" on Amazon. Thank you, Ha! 😘 (Pictured below)
-The surgical foam head pillow they use in surgery with the penis cut out-This helps to keep your head in place and supported while sleeping since you have to be in a lawn chair position. (Pictured below)
-Short sleeved button down sleep shirts- These are the EASIEST to take on and off and don't restrict anything near the DIEP flap incision.
-A button down dress to wear to your follow up appointments so you don't look like a hot mess.
-Maternity underwear without the elastic band at the top- They are usually made of cotton and lay comfortably on top of the abdominal incision. They are also relatively loose fitting making it easier to go to the restroom.
-PILLOWS!!! LOTS AND LOTS OF PILLOWS-Pillows are essential for your comfort. I found comfort with one under each arm, one across my belly, and plenty to support my back. I liked using memory foam pillows for my back.
-A motorized recliner chair-This is the chair that I spend the majority of the day in when I'm not laying in bed. It allows you to lay back and rest and also lifts you out of the chair. It is originally designed for the elderly. (Pictured below)
-An adjustable base bed-I was fortunate enough to already have a Tempurpedic Ergo which meant that I didn't require the foam wedges that I've read other patients needed.
Thank you for making it through this informative post. I wanted to give you all the inside scoop on what I have had to endure over the last week without talking about the emotional aspect of it. I will save how I'm feeling mentally in a future post as this one is already approaching what I feel is long winded. I am so fortunate to have all of you here sending all your positive vibes and prayers my way. We are in the home stretch now and I'm so ready to close this chapter of my life.
EDIT: 09/24/2019
BONUS SURPRISE FOR YOU ALL
My breast surgeon emailed me this evening and shared with me that there is "NO RESIDUAL CANCER BABY!!! YAY!!! CHEMO KILLED IT ALL!!!" It's official y'all!
I HAVE OFFICIALLY BEAT CANCER!!!!
