Friday Night Bites...

After what was a seemingly long week, I was finally able to wind down with a few close friends for dinner and drinks at home. The usual laughs and jokes were exchanged along with the same hilarious stories that we just can't get enough of. Little did I know, I would receive a text message that would forever change my life.

AM sends me this text, "Hi Christie - have results - do you have time to talk? Will need a lot of time." At that moment, I knew what to expect as we have all been patiently waiting for the results to come in post mammogram, ultrasound, and biopsies. I awake from my nap while Jimmy is putting the kids to bed and proceed to call AM. She asks me to grab a pen to take notes for this call and the conversation continues for the next 59 minutes. This is what I have after it is over.

To summarize the scribble, I have the "C" word everyone hopes to never hear, C A N C E R.

More specifically it is a type of breast cancer, Triple Negative Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. Although I don't have an official prognosis yet, AM reminds me that the odds are in my favor.

You may be wondering what thoughts are going through my mind and what feelings I am experiencing.

During the call, there were NO TEARS. I was simply a student learning about a subject I was only vaguely familiar with. The call seemed to be going quickly as I was struggling to keep up with the note taking. Maybe what was really happening was that I was simultaneously trying to process the information while deciding what was significant to write down. After the call, I texted Jimmy to see if he was awake. Thankfully he was and I was able to give him the rundown of the findings. We shared a few tears while I was going through the notes, but I made sure to focus on the silver linings of the diagnosis.

-AM estimates based on the information she has seen so far, this is 75% curable. I'm not sure what the exact term she used was, but the message was that statistically we are in a good position

-F R E E B O O B J O B! ! Anyone who knows me personally knows that I am the queen of silver linings. I can ALWAYS find a positive to even the worst news. For me, the best part of what I have in store for this year will be a nice rack. It is a trophy for my efforts not only related to surviving cancer but for my efforts as a mother and the countless hours of breast feeding I endured for my girls. I know it is not the prettiest rack and there will be large scars, but I can wear those scars proudly as it is one step closer to making me feel like a woman again.

The first night of processing this information was tough. My mind continued to race about things I needed to take care of in such a short amount of time before treatment begins. I'm reminding myself that AM said she would ideally like for me to start the process in the next 1.5 weeks. H O L Y C O W! ! It's crunch time and I have not planned for this outcome. How am I going to prepare myself, my family, and my job in 1.5 weeks? As I rack my brain for the next few hours, it finally gives out and I fall asleep.

Sweet dreams, virtual world! Thanks for joining me in my journey. My hopes are to reach someone in a way so they don't feel alone in the world. We are all going through our own struggles and maybe the anonymity of the internet will help you find a connection in the comfort of your own home.