Hi Friends!!
I am one week post hysterectomy and I have to say I am feeling pretty good. The extreme fatigue I anticipated is turning out to be moderate fatigue. The pain and discomfort level I prepared for is practically non existent. Immediately coming out of anesthesia and the pain meds they give me during/shortly after surgery, I felt groggy. Thinking back on the event, it is still pretty cloudy. I can remember being wheeled from the main hospital to the recovery wing and having to move myself from my operation bed to my new bed. I think I remember this specifically because this was a very traumatic moment during last year's surgery. Last time I was doing this very transfer, I cried out in a pain level 9-10 and I can still remember the heart ache I felt when the nurse present lacked total empathy for the situation. I remember almost questioning myself for maybe overreacting, but logic kicked in and I knew what I was feeling was real. I RARELY complain of pain. My pain tolerance is pretty high thanks to my efforts to prepare myself mentally before any procedure. Fast forward to last week's procedure, my PTSD has me a bit nervous about getting over to the other bed. I start by moving my right leg over and then my left leg. At this point I'm still hesitant to more my pelvic area because thats where all the fun happened during surgery. I then use both of my legs to lift my bum off the bed and scoot it over. Although uncomfortable, I'm let out a sigh of relief because I still have not felt any unbearable pain. I then lift my torso up with my elbows and shimmy the rest of my body over. Ta da! 💥 I did it! It was on to my next task, ordering my hospital lunch! 😋
Oh! No extra charge for this tip! It's probably best to eat something less dry and difficult to swallow after surgery. I chose something easier to digest since since they recommend easing into a regular diet. However, I found it extremely difficult to eat because my throat was still adjusting to having a breathing tube in it during surgery. I had to drink water/tea for each bite to help it go down. I was seriously feeling like I was doing a food challenge the way I was consuming this meal. While all this is happening, I was simultaneously experiencing my first real bit of pain. It was coming from my wrist. After some of the haziness cleared, I discovered a second IV that was placed during surgery. The nurses did tell me I would have a second one put since I had to be repositioned for the second half of my surgery, but why in the hell would you place it at the bend of my wrist. Every time I used my wrist, it would feel terribly uncomfortable. I immediately called my nurse to have it removed. As I waited for her arrival, I began observing that hand. It looks as though they tried to place an IV to the right of my first one on the top of my hand, but were unsuccessful in two attempts. I saw the beginnings of the bruising created.
Below are the photos from before the second IV was removed and you can see some of the bruising on the top right of my hand.
1 Week Post Op
As you can see, my hand is still pretty green from the bruising and you can kind of see the failed sticks. I'm grateful that I was asleep as they were fishing around for my vein because it would have totally sucked. Something else was beginning to cause me some discomfort now that I was more anesthesia was wearing off. My catheter was making me feel like I had to go to the bathroom. The nurse said that's normal because of how it is placed. I found myself trying to use muscle memory to relax that muscle in hopes of getting rid of the sensation. Needless to say, I was unsuccessful. I just needed to mind over matter this until tomorrow morning. When one of the patient care assistants came in to empty my pee bag, she decided to share her own personal experience with a catheter. Let me just mention that it was one of those stories that absolutely does no comfort a patient. 😂 She said, "After I had my catheter removed it was nine days until I could really hold in my pee. I could barely make it to the bathroom in time when I needed to go, but it eventually went back to normal." Uhhhhhhh....are you for real lady?! Why would she feel the need to share THAT story. I'm already contemplating sending Jimmy to buy me some adult diapers. I mean if I don't need them for this, I can use them on those really drunk nights when the bathroom is too far or if Captain Pee Pee pants makes a come back (inside joke from my youth). I ended up talking myself out of the adult diapers and remembering that I did just fine after my catheter was removed from last year's surgery. Let's hope that is the case this time too!
Is anyone wondering how the hospital is handling the foot traffic due to Covid? Well if you're not, I'm going to tell you anyways. Jimmy was able to wait with me before I went into the operating room. He was also able to be with me in recovery and all the way until 8pm, when visiting hours were up! Everyone that enters the hospital must fill out a Covid document asking the standard questions and must have their temperature taken. They are given the wristband color of the day and then you can freely move about the facility. As a patient, I felt confident in their efforts to control the amount of people present. I was only allowed one person to be there throughout my stay. I'm thankful that Jimmy took off work to be there with me. He has been so patient dealing with all my medical crap. He definitely took a loss on that one after marrying me, but I have good credit now so it balances out right?! 🤣🤣 I'm glad that the hospital has loosened up their visitation policies. I honestly don't know how I would feel going through the motions alone as I have never been in that position. I imagine if my medical team was super nurturing and I could video chat with my loved ones, I think I would be okay. I know there are have been a lot of patients with more serious health issues that must have felt so sad without someone there to hold their hand and offer some comfort. I know there were many that had to pass without their family being able to say their goodbyes. My heart goes out to all of those individuals that had to suffer due to Covid. I hope that memories you shared throughout their life on Earth helps to heal your hearts.
Day 1 Post started out well. I felt somewhat rested. The vital checks were only every 4 hours vs. every hour in last year's surgery. I was able to rest in between each check. What I found to be the most uncomfortable was my body temperature. I was laying on a pee pee pad placed there to catch any of my bodily fluids. (Tip: Place a bed sheet on the pad to help reduce the sticking) I haven't needed to get up to pee since my catheter was still in place. My night nurse, Jalea, paid me a visit around 6am to give me some great news. My catheter is coming out! Woot!! She emptied my pee bag, drained the remaining urine into a syringe, and then tugged on it to remove it. My body instantly felt relief and I could feel my muscles down there trying to return to a resting position. Hooray!! She reminded me that I had 6-9 hours to pee on my own before my doctors would discharge me. With the catheter out, I immediately got up to get freshened up.
I grabbed my toiletries bag and headed to restroom. After attempting to pee on my own without success, I was admittedly a bit disappointed, but didn't let that take away from my original goal of freshening up! I brushed my grill, washed my face with my new Lumi Spa device (Thanks, Nga with BeautyMarkUs-she has some great affordable products), sprayed some dry shampoo in my hair, put on some underwear, and changed into my own sleep dress I packed. It's truly amazing how these few things can make me feel "normal" again.
I sat in bed with my new Korean face makes (compliments of the work wife) while watching HGTV and conjuring up new DIY ideas for Jimmy to execute. I'm sure he's ready for me to stop watching this channel and stop going down the Pinterest rabbit hole. While enjoying my breakfast, I realize all the food I've eaten after surgery is starting to catch up to me. I wasn't able to poop the morning of surgery so we are talking about 2 days of meals that haven't passed yet. I felt the gas building up in my belly and right when it's about to come out, it gets scared and goes back in. 🤦♀️This is seriously annoying. I already have trouble having bowel movements after anesthesia and I'm trying to be proactive and reduce my pain by passing the gas so my body can do what it needs. I continue to take my stool softener and gas tablets to help combat the anticipated belly pains. Be sure to request these meds if you're concerned about having a bowel movement because that is a common side effect of anesthesia that is often forgotten until it's too late.
Days 2-7 Post Op- I'll keep this part sweet and short. I'm thankful that my pain level has been between 0-2 throughout the last week. My fatigue has a mind of its own, but I have been able to work at 90% effort. I may have to take a nap in the middle of the work day, but my fatigue is not disrupting my ability to focus as I thought it would.
I've been going on daily walks to the mailbox with my mom/kiddos and doing the occasional grocery store run as a treat to myself to get out of the house. The most cumbersome thing is not being able to drive myself. Relying on others is not my thing, but I'm super grateful for the support I have. Tuna squeezed me in between his busy schedule to take me to the grocery store so I could prepare dinner. I had a super craving for hot pot since I caught a whiff of 70 degree weather and I was determined to make it happen. My mental health has been okay for the most part. I've been keeping myself busy with work and Park Lane. The occasional Korean drama definitely helps pass the time. What I miss most is holding my girls. Ailee has been at my mom's house at night since I'm not allowed to carry her to use the restroom or take a bath. I miss her A LOT! Night time is when I get all my snuggles in and I haven't had that for a week. Addison has been an AMAZING daughter. She has been more mindful and doing her best not to get in trouble or on my nerves. I love how affectionate she is towards me and how she forecasts my needs even though she's only 8.
In other news, I wanted to touch base on how my body looks post op. Don't mind the balls on my belly. Lol. The sharpie my plastic surgeon uses does not wash off easily, but I promise I've been showering.
Every time I look at myself in the mirror, it reminds me of the old show, Nip Tuck. I made a mistake and hopped on the scale this week. WHY DID I DO THAT?!? I totally discouraged myself. I went into surgery at 137 pounds and I am now 142.8 pounds. I know that there is an increase in water retention after surgery and I'm also less active, but seeing it really makes me feel blah. I know how difficult it is to lose 5 pounds and I'm seriously terrified of the pounds packing on until I can be more active. It took me 6 months to get into the 130s and it is discouraging to have to repeat these efforts. I have to remind myself that I can do it again and to be sure that I don't get wrapped up in the holiday eating. Control, focus, and creating habits specifically eating and exercise habits are the key to my success. Other than my weight, my belly button is more unpleasant than before. The laparoscopic procedure had 4 small incisions. Three of the incisions were in my original DIEP flap incision and the last one was somewhere near my belly button. I'm interested to see how that one heals in the coming weeks. The area that where my plastic surgeon performed liposuction looks pretty gnarly. I literally looks like someone beat me on my inner thighs. That is probably the area that bothers me the most. It's sore when I go pee and when I sit down on firmer surfaces. What's the silver lining? My thighs don't touch as much which is an exceptional feature in Houston's humidity. 🤣
I always say that all good things must also have their negative counterpart. Well, here is our negative counterpart. Yesterday, Jimmy received news that he is a part of the 13,000 United employees losing his job this month. I haven't been able to process it as much as I probably should. I think I'm in a state of shock because we never thought they would lay off that many employees since their original projections were much less. Their original projections didn't include someone with 13 years of service. The tables have turned now and I'm doing my best to find the silver lining, but I need to focus on our family's (mainly my) number one priority, insurance. With me only being in remission for 1 year, I need to make sure a recurrence won't bankrupt our family. The insurance options available to me are limited and quite pricey. We will be paying a little more than double now, but we will be covered in case what we all don't want to happen does occur. Throughout the last year and a half, I have never once worried about not being able to afford quality healthcare. Not having to worry about that allows me to focus my energy on myself, on the healing process, and on life outside of my health. This curveball has my mind in overdrive figuring out our finances and what we need to change to keep our family insured. However, this change may be an opportunity knocking at our door. It may be an opportunity for Jimmy to focus and pursue his performance shop business. This is something that I've been wanting him to focus on, but there are not enough hours in the day to balance everything we want. We are now at the "two roads diverged in a yellow wood." Despite the unknowns and endless things to assess, I know that we will be okay. We will work together to get back to an equilibrium. Together, we will be able to handle whatever life throws at us.
don't stop working towards your happiness
Don't be discouraged by your current circumstances. Life is not meant to be easy. We cannot control everything that happens to us, but we can surely control how we react to those things. We are able to choose what we want to do to overcome the hurdle. Don't focus on what you CAN'T do based on your situation and change your focus towards what you CAN do to change it. The actions required may be challenging as hell, but we have to work towards the solution at our own pace. Don't assume once you have the solution that you'll reach your goal quickly. Sometimes solutions take weeks, months, and even years to achieve and THAT IS OKAY. Whatever you do, don't stop working towards your happiness. Don't settle for less because you don't want to put in the work. I am rooting for you even if I'm not physically present in your life. My inbox welcomes you if you need someone to talk to. Please do not be bashful about reaching out. I want to be a resource for you because secretly, it is therapeutic for me. Stay strong, my friends! YOU GOT THIS!!
P.S. It's Breast Cancer Awareness month. Be on the look out for my posts related to this and what I want to do to give back to current patients.